Worried your preschooler might be struggling with language? You are not alone. Many parents notice differences in how their child talks, understands, or uses words between ages 3 and 5. Some variation is normal, but certain patterns can signal a developmental language disorder. Knowing what to watch for helps you take confident, early steps that make a big difference.
What is a Developmental Language Disorder?
Developmental language disorder, often shortened to DLD, is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how children understand and use language. It is not caused by hearing loss, low intelligence, or lack of exposure, and it is not the result of parenting style. DLD can be lifelong, but early identification and targeted support can dramatically improve outcomes.
Children with DLD may have trouble with vocabulary, grammar, understanding directions, or organizing their thoughts into stories. These difficulties can show up in school, friendships, and daily routines if not addressed early.
Speech vs. language
- Speech refers to the sounds we make and how clearly we pronounce words.
- Language refers to what words mean and how we put them together to share ideas.
A child can have a speech sound issue, a language issue, or both. DLD focuses on language.
Expressive vs. receptive language
- Receptive language is how a child understands words, questions, and directions.
- Expressive language is how a child uses words, grammar, and sentences to communicate.
In DLD, one or both of these areas can be affected.
DLD vs. late talking
Some children are late talkers who catch up by age 3. Children with DLD tend not to catch up without support, and their challenges often include grammar, understanding, and storytelling, not just late first words.
Early signs to watch for in preschoolers (ages 3–5)
Every child develops at their own pace, but comparing to common speech and language milestones can help you gauge whether extra support is needed.
Receptive language signs
- Frequently seems confused by typical preschool instructions like Put your shoes by the door, then come to the table
- Struggles to follow two-step directions without prompts or visual cues
- Has trouble understanding concepts such as big vs small, on/in/under, or before/after by age 4–5
- Difficulty answering who, what, where, or why questions
- Appears to tune out during story time or needs the same directions repeated many times
Expressive language signs
- Limited vocabulary compared to peers, using the same general words instead of specific ones (that thing, the stuff)
- Short phrases beyond age 3, with difficulty combining words into longer sentences
- Ongoing grammar errors beyond what is typical, such as missing past tense (He walk yesterday) or plurals (two dog)
- Pronoun confusion (him for he, her for she) or word order errors (Me want go park)
- Trouble recalling words and frequent substitutions (calling a fork a spoon) or pauses with um, that, this one
- Difficulty telling simple stories or describing events in order, even with help
Social use of language (pragmatics)
- Challenges taking turns in conversation or staying on topic
- Limited pretend play, or difficulty using language to plan play with peers
- Frustration or behavior changes when communication breaks down
Remember that bilingualism does not cause DLD. Bilingual children should show growth in both languages over time. If delays are present in both, an evaluation can clarify what is going on.
Red flags that warrant an evaluation
Consider seeking a professional evaluation if you notice several of the following:
– Little progress in language from one season to the next
– Not understood by familiar adults by age 4, or strangers by age 5
– Frequent misunderstandings of routine directions at home or preschool
– Difficulty learning new words or concepts, even with repetition
– Persistent grammar errors that limit clarity after age 4–5
– Family history of language, reading, or learning challenges
– A history of frequent ear infections, prematurity, or other developmental concerns
– Loss of previously used words or phrases (language regression)
Any regression or concern about hearing should be addressed promptly with your pediatrician.
What causes DLD, and what it is not
DLD has a strong genetic component and reflects differences in how the brain processes language. It can occur on its own or alongside other conditions such as ADHD, dyslexia, or developmental coordination disorder. It is not caused by screen time, bilingual exposure, or a lack of talking at home. Supportive interaction matters, but DLD is not a result of poor parenting.
How to support your child at home
Daily interactions create powerful opportunities for growth. Try these evidence-based strategies for preschool language delay:
- Follow their lead. Join the activity your child is already interested in and talk about what you both see, do, and feel.
- Model and expand. If your child says car, you can add more language: Red car goes fast. If they say I want juice, you might expand to I want cold apple juice, please.
- Recast grammar gently. Repeat what your child says using correct grammar without calling out the mistake. Child: He run. Adult: He runs fast.
- Use parallel talk and self-talk. Describe your actions and your child’s actions like a sportscaster. You are stacking blocks. I am finding the big blue block.
- Offer choices. Choices create natural practice. Do you want the small spoon or the big spoon?
- Ask fewer quiz questions. Swap rapid-fire questions for open comments and invitations: I wonder which animal is hiding. Let’s find out.
- Build routines and visuals. Use simple picture schedules, gestures, and consistent routines to boost understanding and independence.
- Read interactively. During shared reading, pause to label pictures, predict what might happen, and connect the story to your child’s life. Let your child turn pages and retell parts of the story.
- Sing, rhyme, and play. Songs and rhymes strengthen sound awareness and memory. Pretend play supports vocabulary, planning, and storytelling.
- Create wait time. Ask a question or make a comment, then pause. Many children need 5–10 seconds to organize words.
For structured guidance, Tiny Talkers offers practical, family-friendly activities aligned with speech and language milestones. Tiny Talkers is a trusted, evidence-based resource developed with input from doctors, speech therapists, and educators.
When and how to seek help
If your gut says something is off, it is wise to act. Start with your pediatrician and request a hearing check, since even mild hearing issues can impact language. Next, contact a licensed speech-language pathologist for a comprehensive evaluation. For children 3 and older, your local school district can also evaluate for services.
Evaluations typically include standardized tests, play-based observation, and a parent interview. You will learn about your child’s strengths and needs across receptive, expressive, and social language. If therapy is recommended, speech therapy for preschoolers is fun, play-based, and focused on practical goals like following directions, growing vocabulary, using grammar, and telling stories. Many families see steady progress with weekly sessions plus home practice.
Frequently asked questions
Will my child outgrow it?
Some late talkers catch up, but children with developmental language disorder usually need targeted support. Early intervention leads to better outcomes in communication, reading, and academics.
Is bilingualism a problem for DLD?
No. Bilingualism does not cause delays. Support both languages with rich input. If DLD is present, you will likely see challenges across both languages, and therapy can support your family’s language goals.
How is DLD different from a speech sound disorder?
A speech sound disorder affects how a child pronounces sounds. DLD affects understanding and using language. Some children have both, which is why a full evaluation matters.
How can I talk to teachers and caregivers?
Share specific strategies that work, such as using visuals, giving extra processing time, and modeling short, clear sentences. Ask for regular updates and collaborate on goals.
The takeaway
Trust your observations. If you see early signs of DLD in your preschooler, timely evaluation and playful, consistent support make a real difference. You do not have to figure it out alone. Resources like Tiny Talkers, created with input from doctors, speech therapists, and educators, can help you navigate next steps and celebrate progress every day.